MAIDEN, MOTHER, CRONE

Klimt's The Three Stages of Women is a beautiful painting. I currently have it propped up on my desk to provide a little inspiration for my work in progress – The Way Through the Woods. I shan’t bore you too much with what this story is about, I’m only in the word vomit first draught phase at the moment, but like my debut book (The Sum of all Parts) it deals in part with perception and how we can tend to lose sight of who we are and what makes us happy. But I shall give a little detail – the main character is an elderly woman with Lewy body dementia and the story is two-fold: on the one hand it focuses on her diagnosis and the effect on her family (husband, son, daughter, granddaughter etc), and on the other it focuses on her hallucinations which take her to an Ireland where the old ways are still respected and where goddesses like to stop for a natter. This is my MC’s perceived reality, and who’s to say that it isn’t real? It is, after all, extremely real for her.
The idea for the book came about many years ago when I was visiting Huntington Castle in Wexford with my family. An elderly lady with a clipped accent approached me and enquired ‘are you here for the ceremony?’ I said no and a little while later I watched as she disappeared into the woods accompanied by a group of men and women – the man dressed in full Egyptian ceremonial clothing. I regretted instantly that I said ‘no’ and I often wonder what my WIP would be like if I had attended the ceremony. I was intrigued and when I was home I began my research. The woman who had spoken to me was Olivia Durdin-Robertson (13 April 1917 – 14 November 2013) an author, artist, co-founder and High Priestess of the Fellowship of Isis.
Olivia Durdin-Robertson
The seed was sown and I started to think about the old ways, traditions, and religions; and what we, as a society, have lost by our disrespect of nature. I began to research: the Fellowship of Isis: Irish mythology and Irish Goddesses; Ogham; Druids; Paganism and Wicca; Shamanism; Quantum Physics and the many world’s theory. I also began to research dementia and hallucinations. My idea began to grow and evolve, and I started to think about the triune of ‘maiden, mother, crone’ and once again of perception and perceived realities. This research was very thought-provoking and inspiring. I became very introspective. I began to think about the older women who have inspired me – my grandmothers (both strong and feisty), my ‘Aunty’ Dot (a formidable woman, full of wisdom and cheekiness who I miss daily), my Mum who proves daily that age is irrelevant; and also to a childhood neighbour, Lily. Lily was the first elderly woman that I looked up to as being someone I wanted to be. I was little, probably 8, and she was probably not that old. She always wore lilac cardigan and her hair was long and grey, tied up with a ribbon. She used to quote poetry to me (Trees by Joyce Kilmer was a particular favourite), her arms gesturing balletically. I found out later that she was a Montessori teacher and was suffering from dementia. But to the child I was she was amazing, I wanted to be her when I was older: the beautiful hair, the graceful movements, her love of life and of nature. Fast forward to now and I think I’ve only achieved the last two. My hair is dyed and quite short – and definitely no ribbons. My hair is dyed because in today’s society women are not encouraged to go grey, it is considered unattractive. But now I’m thinking, says who? What’s wrong with grey hair? What’s wrong with being 50+? Why am I hiding? Yes, I have grey hair, wrinkles, the menopause, and I’m not as fit as I used to be, but that’s life. I am what I am. And as for the ‘maiden, mother, crone’ triune, well I’ve come to realise that they are not three separate entities – not to me anyway. I may well be in the crone stage but that doesn’t mean that I can no longer embrace the maiden in me or that I am no longer a mother – I still have children, albeit grown-up ones, and I have a grandchild: motherhood and nurturing are still very much a part of me. So when it comes to aging, bring it on. I shall embrace everything that I am and enjoy every part of my journey.

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